Topping From the Bottom

Topping from the bottom is a term used in BDSM contexts to describe a situation where the submissive partner takes some control or directs the action while in a submissive role. The term is often seen as contradictory because traditionally, the dominant partner dictates the flow. However, topping from the bottom can be part of a negotiated dynamic where both parties find pleasure in this exchange. The term can carry a negative connotation if one partner feels their role is being undermined without mutual consent.

Key Characteristics

• Involves the submissive making suggestions or influencing activities.
• Can be consensual and part of pre-negotiated play.
• Challenges traditional dominant/submissive roles.

Imagine a BDSM scene where the submissive partner whispers desires or fantasies during the session, subtly guiding the dominant on what happens next. For instance, they might indicate when they need a softer touch or suggest switching activities. Another typical example is a submissive hinting at using certain tools or toys they've agreed on in their negotiation. This demonstrates a clear line of communication and trust within the relationship.

Real-Life Scenarios

• Submissive asking for a specific activity mid-scene.
• Suggesting limits during a session that adjust the scene's direction.
• Setting up parameters beforehand that allows for mid-scene suggestions.

For more about the importance of communication in such dynamics, check out Communication.

A widespread misconception about topping from the bottom is that it is inherently a negative action. Some believe it's a violation of the agreed-upon roles, breaking the scene's flow. However, in healthy dynamics, it is actually just another form of negotiating needs and desires moment-to-moment. Also, some folks might see it as a sign of a submissive trying to take over, which isn't the case if done with consent and within set boundaries.

Common Myths

• Always disruptive to the scene.
• Indicator of a sub trying to be dominant.
• Equates to lack of respect towards the dominant.

Understanding related concepts can help place topping from the bottom into a broader context. These terms often crop up in discussions about BDSM dynamics and can sometimes overlap or be confused with topping from the bottom.

See Also

• Power Exchange
• Dominance
• Switch
• BDSM on Wikipedia